Glossary
Surface feeling
Part of: Fight (Control)
A surface feeling is the feeling on top. It's the one you notice first, and it often protects a more vulnerable feeling underneath.
In our model every Template carries a feeling in two layers. The surface layer is often anger or numbness. Others include irritation and resentment. The layer beneath it is the underlying feeling.
A surface feeling is never bad. It is doing a job. Anger can give you energy to act; numbness can give you distance when feeling everything would be too much.
A tiny example. You mention at dinner that you've started piano lessons, and a friend laughs. Heat rises in your face and you snap back at them. That heat is the surface. Underneath, there may be hurt at not being taken seriously, or a sting of shame.
Understanding the layers explains the anger. It doesn't excuse what you do with it.
Read more about each one on the feeling pages, starting with Anger.