Conditions

Absent means something you needed simply wasn't there: no one noticed, asked or showed up, so you learned to manage on your own.

Unpredictable means care came and went without warning, so you learned to watch closely and stay ready for whatever came next.

Excessive means there was too much: too much control, too much protection, or no limits at all, so a need never had room to grow.

Harmful means a need was met with hurt, such as humiliation or violence, and you adapted to protect yourself. It is never about blame.

Modelled means you learned a pattern by watching it: the people around you showed you how to handle anger, conflict or feelings.